Friday the 13th Fun

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th. We mark the occasion with "Little Known Scary Stuff That Occurred on Friday the 13th:

On Friday the 13th, 1979, a black cat crossed the path of Houston football player Tony Frisch and was accidentally kicked 67 yards for a world record.

On Friday the 13th in 1962 a Colorado couple, while watching Channel 13 in the honeymoon suite of a Las Vegas motel, were crushed to death by a falling mirror.

On Friday the 13th in 1957 a duck hunter, wearing a rabbit's foot around his neck while hunting near 12-Gauge, Texas, was kicked to death by a giant 3-legged jack rabbit.

On Friday the 13th in 1966 a Detroit sociologist, who had just demonstrated his lack of fear by walking under 13 ladders and throwing a black cat through a mirror, was run over by a limousine driven by blind soul singer.

Today is Friday the 13th, unluckiest day of the year, so don’t take any unnecessary chances:

Do not tell National Rifle Klan jokes at the Militia Expo.
Do not offer to give away your Beanie Baby at a soccer mom’s convention.
Do not invest heavily in a product called Howard Stern’s Ultra-Hold Flea Spray.
Do not give Sammy "The Bull" Gravano a lecture on family values.
If you’re going out for Chinese, do not order the black-cat soup.
Do not tell doctor jokes during your prostate exam.

Important things to remember on Friday the 13th:

Never trust a rabbit that tries to sell you his foot.

Never walk under a mirror or break a black cat.

4-leaf clovers are lucky today -- but not if you smoke them.

The number "13" is very unlucky--especially if it's the only one you can get on the drugstore blood pressure machine.
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It is very unlucky today if a black crosses your path or gets flushed down your toilet.

Walking under a ladder can be very unlucky today -- especially if it's at the drugstore the 16-year-old with zits is climbing down with a barbecue grill.

Stepping on a cricket can very extremely unlucky today -- especially for the cricket.

Wearing garlic around your neck today will ward off evil spirits. It will also ward off good spirits, indifferent spirits, and any other spirits with noses.

A rabbit's foot is not lucky. If you don't believe me, ask the rabbit.

Wearing a lucky penny between your toes means good luck and blisters.

For good luck, hang a horseshoe over your front door. For really good luck, hang the entire horse over your front door.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back. But don't worry about it. After rearing you, mom probably would enjoy traction.

Horseshoes usually bring good luck today, but never trust a horse that wears high heels.

If you think walking under a step-ladder is unlucky, try walking under your step-mother.

A rabbit's foot can be lucky, unless the rabbit sets foot in your garden, in which case he'll probably eat your stringbeans.

Jack and Jill