Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday the 13th Fun

Friday the 13thFriday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th. We mark the occasion with "Little Known Scary Stuff That Occurred on Friday the 13th:

On Friday the 13th, 1979, a black cat crossed the path of Houston football player Tony Frisch and was accidentally kicked 67 yards for a world record.

On Friday the 13th in 1962 a Colorado couple, while watching Channel 13 in the honeymoon suite of a Las Vegas motel, were crushed to death by a falling mirror.

On Friday the 13th in 1957 a duck hunter, wearing a rabbit's foot around his neck while hunting near 12-Gauge, Texas, was kicked to death by a giant 3-legged jack rabbit.

On Friday the 13th in 1966 a Detroit sociologist, who had just demonstrated his lack of fear by walking under 13 ladders and throwing a black cat through a mirror, was run over by a limousine driven by blind soul singer.

Today is Friday the 13th, unluckiest day of the year, so don’t take any unnecessary chances:

Do not tell National Rifle Klan jokes at the Militia Expo.
Do not offer to give away your Beanie Baby at a soccer mom’s convention.
Do not invest heavily in a product called Howard Stern’s Ultra-Hold Flea Spray.
Do not give Sammy "The Bull" Gravano a lecture on family values.
If you’re going out for Chinese, do not order the black-cat soup.
Do not tell doctor jokes during your prostate exam.

Important things to remember on Friday the 13th:

Never trust a rabbit that tries to sell you his foot.

Never walk under a mirror or break a black cat.

4-leaf clovers are lucky today -- but not if you smoke them.

The number "13" is very unlucky--especially if it's the only one you can get on the drugstore blood pressure machine.

It is very unlucky today if a black crosses your path or gets flushed down your toilet.

Walking under a ladder can be very unlucky today -- especially if it's at the drugstore the 16-year-old with zits is climbing down with a barbecue grill.

Stepping on a cricket can very extremely unlucky today -- especially for the cricket.

Wearing garlic around your neck today will ward off evil spirits. It will also ward off good spirits, indifferent spirits, and any other spirits with noses.

A rabbit's foot is not lucky. If you don't believe me, ask the rabbit.

Wearing a lucky penny between your toes means good luck and blisters.

For good luck, hang a horseshoe over your front door. For really good luck, hang the entire horse over your front door.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back. But don't worry about it. After rearing you, mom probably would enjoy traction.

Horseshoes usually bring good luck today, but never trust a horse that wears high heels.

If you think walking under a step-ladder is unlucky, try walking under your step-mother.

A rabbit's foot can be lucky, unless the rabbit sets foot in your garden, in which case he'll probably eat your stringbeans.

Jack and Jill

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