Thursday, September 17, 2009

Blonde Jokes


1 Three blondes are walking through the forest.
They come upon some tracks.
The first blonde says "They're deer tracks."
The second blonde says "They're bear tracks."
The third blonde says "They're moose tracks."
Then a train hits them.

2 Two blondes lock thier keys in the car.
One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!
" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

3 There was a Blonde and her husband.
One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up.
She's determined to prove to her husband that blondes arn't dumb, by painting the kitchen.
When her husband gets home he says to his wife "Honey why do you have 3 coats on?"
The blonde says, "Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results."

4 Why did the blonde have square boobs?
Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

5 What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
Nothing. They have never met.

6 A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for?
Are you going to set it on fire!"

7 A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks, "Where did you get that?"
The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

8 A British Airways employee took a call from a blonde asking the question, "How long is the Concorde flight from London to New York?"
"Um, just a minute, if you please," he murmured.
Then, as he turned to check the exact flight time, he heard an equally polite, "Thank you," as the phone went dead.

9 Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.
The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Yo mama jokes

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